Original post : February 5, 2014 It's a process.

Original post : February 5, 2014

It's a process.

Nicki has made huge strides since she came to live with us. There are still monsters in her closet, though, and every now and then, they reach out to try to grab her. I call her my PTSD dog, and that's not an exaggeration.

The other day, Nicki was sitting at the top of the stairs. My hubby came up the stairs part way, lowered himself to lay on the stairs so his head would be at Nicki's level, and attempted to give her a gentle greeting. Then the bogeyman bit her. We have no idea why, but she suddenly leaped up, spun around, lay back down, cowered, and cried the entire time. In the process, she banged my hubby's forehead with her teeth, leaving a little mark that bled slightly. It absolutely was not a bite.

So what was all that? What set her off? What frightened her so? She saw her Dad coming up the stairs, laying near her, reaching out. None of it was a surprise. And yet, she was clearly terrified of something. The crying and whining were proof of that. What past shadow so overtook a moment of affection?

So we keep trying to reassure her. The shadows will stay in the past. There's nothing here but love and tenderness. It's ok to stop being afraid.

It's only been 5 months. After who knows how long she endured rejection, neglect, and apparently outright abuse - 5 months is the wink of an eye.