It's time

Nicki in the park, November 2022

 It's time. We said goodbye to Nicki March 16, 2023 at noon. In the days just before, I had begun noticing odd pink stains on her bedding. Thinking she might have a UTI, we went to the vet, who sent us home with two antibiotic prescriptions. More pills. One of them was huge. The next morning when we got up, I noticed more stains, but as I passed her upstairs water bowl, I saw that the water was deep pink. There wasn't blood in her urine - it was coming from elsewhere. Back to the vet. He was kind and thorough, but direct. He checked her temperature - low. Considering what she'd been going through, his opinion was that her body was finally starting to give up. He thought these were early signs of organ failure. "Maybe she's telling you that it's time." He said to continue the antibiotics (why?)

We went home, and I began to prepare. Our vets no longer make that house call. They're swamped with work and can't spare someone to come out. A friend had found a mobile vet to come to her home to help her cat (who also had DCM) to have a peaceful passing, so I got the vet's number. I made an appointment.

In the meantime, I decided not to ruin Nicki's last days by pushing more pills down her throat. When she got down to 18 pounds (from her normal 25) last November, I decided to take her off Vetmedin entirely. I had taken her off all meds for a week in October, then gradually added them back one at a time, a week apart. All was well until we got to Vetmedin, and then the wracking vomiting and diarrhea began again. Vetmedin may be a life saver for many pets, but it was killing Nicki. With the GI issues eliminated, I embarked on a feeding program that was largely based on puppy formulations to give her maximum calories. She became very picky, eating some food for a few days then refusing it entirely. It was hard to keep her eating. Nonetheless, I managed to get her up to 21 pounds again and thought we might get another spring - but it wasn't to be. Now, knowing that our time together was very short, I eliminated everything but Lasix. On Enalapril, her heart would beat frighteningly against her chest. Now, without it, that heart calmed and beat quietly. 

The day before the appointment, we all went to Home Depot where Nicki once again received all the pets and admiration from everyone nearby. It's amazing how one little dog could make so many people's days brighter. Nicki simply made everything better for everyone, everywhere she went, all the time. (She did that again one more time after she passed. Facebook doesn't allow posts offering to share medications [probably for their own legal protection] so instead I searched in Facebook for posts mentioning the medications I had to offer. When I found such posts, I PMd the poster, offering the meds. Several declined, but one lovely person who works with several rescues doing hospice work accepted. I highly recommend this method to not only help others, but to ease your grief. It does help.)  On the way back, we stopped at a gas station to get a peanut butter cup for Nicki. Chocolate couldn't hurt her now. Heading home, I did something differently. I had Nicki ride shotgun instead of in the back seat. She sat upright, facing me, leaning against the seat back, gazing at me steadily. It almost seemed as though she didn't blink. She locked her eyes onto my face and stayed that way all the way home. I reached over and rubbed her chest the whole time. At one point she almost drifted off to sleep. I kept telling her that we were going to go home and go for a walk before we lost all the light. I wanted to catch "Golden Hour" with her. Then it dawned on me; this will be our last sunset together. I said it out loud. We had spent many evenings on the front porch, just watching the sun set together. Two old ladies, drinking in the days while we could.

Once home, we headed out on our walk immediately so as not to lose the light - but it was fading too quickly. As we headed down the street, Nicki did something unusual. She repeatedly stopped and looked back in the direction of the setting sun, which was now dipping behind bare trees. She just stopped and looked in that direction, as though taking in our final sunset together. 

Nicki enjoyed that walk, and even went a little further than usual. When we got home, though, she had no interest in food at all. She mouthed a piece of the peanut butter cup, then abandoned it. At least I tried. She just wanted to cuddle, so we did. Then it was time for bed.

The following morning, I woke early. Nicki didn't stir; she was very soundly asleep. In recent months her hearing had dimmed, and the girl who startled at every sound even though asleep now slept peacefully through the nights. I wanted to get out for one more walk that morning, so we got ourselves together and headed out. This time we only got a short way down the street when Nicki turned to go home. Ordinarily I would've tried to coax her into going a little further, but not now. 

We headed home to await the vet. Nicki did something in the last few weeks that was unusual for her; she actually came over to be picked up and held in my lap. She was affectionate and Velcro enough, as Aussies are, but she wasn't a lap dog. That changed, and although it made me kind of sad, I was grateful. Now she came over looking to be held, so I picked her up and settled in. She drifted off to sleep while I rubbed her neck and shoulders, which she always enjoyed. The house was quiet. No computers or TVs, just us. The phone rang - the vet was running late. Don't hurry. Take your time. I got to hold Miss Nicki like that for 45 minutes, feeling that calm little heartbeat, no longer furiously defying death.

Assuming the vet would want to verify for herself that this appointment was warranted for the animal and not just a convenience for the owners, I had Nicki's most recent medical records ready for her, including her chest x-rays displayed on my computer screen. She said that with that degree of disease to the heart, she was surprised Nicki had made it through a year. She assured me that, even though we could keep Nicki alive longer, she would be alive but not living. She already spent most of her days asleep and refused food. She hadn't played in many days.  It was time.

We moved into the bedroom where she slept near her family every night. I had arranged her favorite flannel sheet atop a pee pad and a plastic sheet, just in case. When the spirit lets go of the body, the body lets go, too. The spot was where she would make herself at home whenever she got the chance - on my side of the bed, leaning on my pillow. Once she was settled, the vet administered the sedative shot. I'm not going to describe anything further now, because it didn't go as smoothly as I had hoped. Nicki did not suffer; it just wasn't the totally peaceful sendoff I had envisioned. I rubbed her chest as she slowly drifted off to sleep, kissing her head. In a little while after, she was gone.

It's been beautiful outside. The trees are budding and blooming. Birds are singing again. Perfect dog walking weather. Not too hot, and everything has yet to overgrow the trails. 

And I miss my girl.

A while back I told you I'd come here again to say goodbye to you for Nicki.

Goodbye

Reality Bites

 Let's talk about some of the harder things for a bit. Over the past year, Nicki has slowed tremendously. Our mile plus walks have dwindled to a block, on a good day. She never has the awful breathless spasms anymore, thanks to her meds. But she really hates taking her meds. Then there's the problem of the vomitting and diarrhea that hit her every few days. At first it wasn't even once weekly. Now it's too often to put away the rug cleaner. When those spells hit her, they knock her out. They take all of her energy - and there's precious little left. I hesitated for a long time - a year - to post the video I took of her during the attack that finally alerted us to her DCM. Before you get upset, I had already called the vet. So many times we call vets and doctors, and by the time we get to them, the problem has eased or passed completely. I wanted the vet to see exactly what Nicki was going through. I took this video while waiting to go in, as they'd given her an appointment. Right after I took the video, I called back and begged them to call me if anyone was a no-show so we could come in earler. "She can't breathe." They told me to bring her in immediately.

Nicki had been in for every wellness visit, every problem, every shot, for eight years. Two years ago, during her routine checkup, for the first time ever, one of the vets told me she had a heart murmur. A murmur. The next year she passed her checkup with flying colours, but still had "a little heart murmur". Otherwise, she was, as the vet tech relayed "a unicorn". Perfect weight for her size, good teeth, sound, strong, shining eyes, healthy coat - my girl. 

Last summer, a friend passed. We had to go out of state to the memorial, and Nicki went to board with a friend who has taken wonderful care of her over the years. It's a home boarding situation, but the friend has many dogs of her own, and also does grooming. In other words, there are a LOT of dogs. Nicki likes her quiet home life. She's really meant to be an only. I think being around so many other dogs 24/7 is stressful for her. Then, of course, being away from Momma is super stressful.

The problem appeared as soon as we brought her home from boarding. She began to cough. A lot. I thought she'd contracted kennel cough, despite being vaccinated against it annually. The day after, we were in full emergency mode. So now you've had the background. And here is that video of her from a year ago. At this point the situation was already easing somewhat. But if we're here to educate and advocate, we need to share information. It can be hard to watch, so you've been warned.

 

Since then, the meds have kept the beast at bay. But it has lurked surreptitiously, stealing my girl from me. Muscle wasting is one of the results of the disease. I had to adjust Nicki's harness to a smaller size. Her collars hang loose around her neck. I can feel her bones too easily. I can't just "feed her up" to boost her strength because her system is terribly precarious. Changes send her into multi-day bouts of vomit and diarrhea. On top of that, three of her medications have vomiting and diarrhea as side effects. I knew it would be a losing battle, but there are so many lost battles along the way.

Right now, in typical Aussie fashion, she wants to be near me at all times, but she also wants to be on her favorite beds or napping spots, so it's more like she wants *me* to be near *her*. When that doesn't happen and she relents to be wherever I am, we have moments like this one, in the late afternoon sun of the end of spring. There's a little breeze, but the sun is already hot. Trees and grasses are letting their pollen out to drift away. A little cloud of gnats swirls in the air, almost indistinguishable from the pollen and dandelion pappi. Leaves rustle. Cars go by. And Miss Nicki surveys her kingdom.

A Very Busy Day

We haven't updated in a long time. Partly because I find the Blogger interface really difficult to work with. I was trying to use a WYSIYG CSS generator to be able to paste in some posts already formatted, but I couldn't figure out how to do that, either. Ugh! 

There's another reason, though. I hadn't anticipated how hard it would be to document Nicki's slide away. It's ridiculous, but I actually didn't consider that I wasn't merely advocating for adoption anymore; I was chronicling the last year of my dog's life.

Yes, last year. She's still with us - some days more than others. It's becoming clear, though, That this will be Nicki's last summer. 

But that's for another post. For now, please enjoy Miss Nicki from October of 2021.

  When you're a super fancy lady, your pawrents take you to a French restaurant where you get to watch the world pass by.

I love Aunt Dani's froyo for doggies!! Bones is the best place on Earth, besides my house. Which is mine. For real. Nobody's ever making me live anywhere else ever again. I get to keep Momma and stinky Daddy furever! 

Aunt Dani has a stick library for us pups. How cool is that?!

If only we didn't have to ride in a car to get here. Momma says other dogs like car rides. Puhleez!!

Momma always takes me for a walk around the neighborhood when we visit Bones Bakery. I love walking in the city. There are so many different sniffs!

Celebrating my 8th Gotcha Day!

 This is always a special day for us, but this year it was even more so. Since Nicki's DCM diagnosis, I wasn't sure we'd even get to this day. I believe in staying optimistic, but reality will have its way with us.

Nonetheless, we got to celebrate another Gotcha Day - and celebrate we did! All the best special days call for goodies! Nicki went to her favorite place; Bones Dog Bakery!

She enjoyed a little stroll around the neighborhood on her way there. She prefers city walks! Who knew?!There's most likely a greater variety of those all-precious smells!

We knew she just HAD to have a puppacino to celebrate! She got a dognut to enjoy at home, too!

Do I look like I enjoyed my treats or what?!?!?!

  

After all that, Miss Nicki was ready to head home for a nap - but still a happy girl!

Here's hoping for another celebration next year! Paws crossed!

The Return of Chocolate Bunny

 When Nicki first came to us, she didn't know how to play. We didn't know it at the time, but that's common with dogs who are mostly left chained/tied or kept alone in a kennel (I use the word kennel loosely here). It would be two years before we could interest her in toys or playing - and then the gates were flung joyously open. The original post on that is here: An Easter Miracle. For those who want to skip to the "good part", here it is. Miss Nicki, playing for the first time. 

 

 

Of course we knew that toy wouldn't last long! So we went on the hunt for replacements immediately. This is the result:

 

That little chocolate bunny opened a wonderful world for our Nicki. Many toys of all different sizes and shapes followed. To keep things interesting, as other toys filled the house, I put these away to bring them out in rotation from time to time. That was six years ago!! 

Today I checked the back of the closet and found that we still had 2 brand new bunnies left. She hasn't had to do without toys all this time - she just had so many others!! Nonetheless, when she heard the "chocolate" bunny squeak, this was her reaction: 

 

 

It's been a really good day.

Summer Trail Walk

 How about a happy Nicki story? They do still happen. Although things are different now, Nicki still enjoys her walks, albeit shorter. She tires more easily. No more mile plus hikes. That's okay - there's more time to enjoy some smells! I think she may have been a city dog at some point in her earlier life. She really enjoys walking in the city much more than our trail walks. That's okay. Variety!

When we say trail - we mean trail! Blazes and everything!

There's a lovely little bridge at the entrance. Good thing, too! It had been raining for days and the streams were pretty high!

 

Quite a current!

 

 

Smells are like Pokemon - gotta catch 'em all!

Stop and smell the - whatever that is.

Can't eat these - yet!

Okay, Momma. I'm tired now.

Reality Check

 Now begins the actual process of dealing with all this. All the meds, and more importantly - what they do to Nicki. She's on 2 heart meds, plus a diuretic for blood pressure. That apparently tipped her body into incontinence. She became completely unaware of leaking urine - and it was not good.

So back to the vet we went, to get meds to fight the incontinence. Within hours after giving her second dose, she began to vomit repeatedly. Then she developed diarrhea. I looked up the side effects of the medication, which were not good. The dosing also seemed too strong for her little body. We stopped that medication immediately. Now I'm fasting her to give her body a chance to purge the medication that caused the reaction. In the meantime, I'm washing a lot of towels, rugs, and dog butt. It's been pretty hectic.

So hectic that it took a while to register: this is not a passing illness. I'm not nursing her back to health. That cannot happen. At best, this could be called palliative care. I'm trying to manage her symptoms to preserve some quality of life for her. I want her to be comfortable and happy.

And that's an end game.

I've been through this. It's hard to stop yourself from becoming hopeful when they perk up and seem to feel better. It's hard to accept that they won't continue to improve. It's hard to be so powerless for someone you love so much.

Ordinary tasks become fraught. The size of the bag of kibble becomes a question mark. How much longer? How long?

For now, I have boiled chicken and rice ready for when her system quiets down, The main priority is to get her heart meds into her. Since she's not getting incontinence meds now, we'll have to go back to taking up her water in the evening, extra walks and trips outside, and fingers crossed for a dry morning. Again. 

The worst of it is that she's such a lady, and all this upsets her. She seems downright insulted to be asked to go out every 1 1/2 - 2 hours. No Lasix for now - not till we speak to the vet again tomorrow to try to get a different incontinence medication.

We're just juggling symptoms, and trying to push against the door to keep the monster from breaking in and stealing her.

Update (following day): I suggested that we try halving the dosage of the incontinence meds (Prion). The vet agrees. So last night, when we were awakened at 3:00 am by a slightly damp pupper jumping up onto the bed, after letting her out and cleaning her up, I gave that 1/4 pill. She was dry this morning, but spent the day just not herself. So far no vomiting or diarrhea (fingers crossed, but that didn't start until the 2nd dose last time), but my girl just ain't right. At one point I saw her sitting and staring at a blank wall. When let out, she circles and paces, comes back, goes back out, lather rinse repeat. It's as though she can't quite figure out how to do her business. I did call the vet again to tell her the final verdict on Prion is that it does help Miss Nicki, but the cost to her is too high. Spent the day waiting for a call back. Maybe tomorrow. 2nd dose of the day at 7:00 pm. Keep us in your thoughts.

My Old Dog is Teaching Me New Tricks

 Many times, rescued dogs appreciate familiarity and predictability. Truly *rescued* dogs haven't just been rehomed; they've been saved from bad circumstances. Abusive homes are notoriously unpredictable and volatile. Neglectful situations leave their own, different scars. Both of those are soothed by the predictability of a loving home. Regular meal times with familiar foods. Predictable reactions within the family. No sudden blows, no raised voices, no punishments just for being a dog. 

Last night, Nicki and I went out for our evening walk. It's a small town, and our walking opportunities are limited by the geography of a one-stoplight-town with very few discernible "blocks". I've been letting Nicki choose our course lately in the hope that makes it more enjoyable for her. Last night I wanted to start in a slightly different direction. Basically one of our usual routes, but with a slight variation. That slight variation took us toward an area where we ordinarily finish the walk and head for home. To my surprise, Miss Nicki got to that point and began to follow our usual route - in reverse! She went the way we're used to walking, but - leading the entire way - she walked the route in reverse, then simply headed home. 

Well! She knows the walking routes so well that she can take the initiative to change it up a little! Great! Three cheers for predictability!

Then she did something relatively new. If we come home with a little bag of poo, she now walks directly to the trash can in the yard, pauses in front of it, looks up at me, and waits for me to dispose of the bag. Then she leads the way into the house. HER house. Because she's home, and she loves home.

With all this toileting trouble and the diuretic meds, she's doing something else that is completely new to me. I never had a dog try to drink from the toilet bowl before! Luckily, I believe strongly in sanitation but - sheesh!! That is a new trick I could do without!

Change is Hard

So sleepy. So, so sleepy.

 If you plan to follow this blog (and thank you, if you do), you should be prepared for something; it won't have a happy ending, but it will have an ending. Nicki has a progressive, terminal disease (congestive heart failure). That doesn't magically go away. A lot of what will appear here now will be how we got to this point, and how we're dealing with it now. Hopefully there will be more happy Nicki stories, too. For that to happen, we have to help her manage life with this disease. If we share that process with you, you may have information that you find helpful at some point. That's what this whole blog was started for; to share the journey of a rescued and adopted dog in order to help others.

Nicki has been placed on 3 medications; Enalapril, Vetmedin, and Furosemide. During the first week, they seemed to be helping her, but she was almost always sound asleep. I did some research on side effects, and noticed that two of the meds induce tiredness and/or lethargy. That corresponds to what I've been seeing. I'd been giving her all 3 medications in the morning, then Vetmedin and Furosemide again in the evening. Since Enalapril is one of the meds with tiredness/lethargy as a side effect (Vetmedin is the other), and she only has to get it once daily, I'm shifting that to evening dosing. Hopefully that will allow her to be more present during the daytime. Update: I did do so, but now we have a big problem with incontinence. Nicki had always been a VERY light sleeper. The slightest thing disturbed her. No longer. Now she sleeps VERY soundly through the night, unaware of a need to urinate, and wakes up not knowing that she's soaked. The vet cut her dose of Furosemide by 75%, and I shifted the timing to 2x during the day, but none near night time. Even so, we have accidents. She doesn't go off to pee in the house; she just doesn't realize that urine is coming out. This began *before* I shifted her Enalapril to evening dosing, so I don't think that's the problem. We have a follow up appointment tomorrow. I expect the vet will want to start her on meds for the incontinence. We went through this with our border collie, Daisy, near the end of her life, and the meds helped tremendously.

Since she has heart disease, some of you may be wondering about her diet. Having come to upstate New York from Kentucky, her first 3 years here produced allergies that worsened with each spring. Eventually we switched her kibble to grain free, and supplemented with unflavored, non-chewable biotin caplets coated in peanut butter, a dollop of coconut oil, 500 mg of fish oil (those 3 daily) and - during allergy season - 25 mg of dipehnhydramine, twice daily. For those saying "AHA! Grain free! That causes heart disease!" you need more information. Nicki also gets raw venison, raw fish, raw, frozen chicken wings, vegetables, yogurts, and other variety, including Dinovite powder, at my husband's suggestion. Honestly, I've stopped giving her diphenhydramine since the addition of Dinovite, and her allergies are not bothering her this year. So yes, she gets grain-free kibble, but she doesn't just get kibble. As a matter of fact, we did a post about her food variety here .

So - everything we knew has changed. Nicki is tremendously annoyed by my constant urging to go out to potty (about every 2 - 3 hours). She doesn't get morning cuddles on the bed with me unless I check her first and find dry fur down there. She gets plopped into the bathtub and rinsed off every other day, it seems. She gets more treats - but they all kinda taste funny (because I hide the meds inside them). She can't drink water after 8:00 when Momma and Daddy take the bowls away. And Momma has become paranoid - thinking everything smells like pee.

Mostly I miss the cuddles.

National Rescue Dog Day

 

Miss Nicki wishes you a happy National Rescue Dog day!! 

The past few weeks have been pretty tough on our girl. Last month we found out she has developed a heart murmur, which can be exacerbated by stress. Two weeks ago, the project to redo our front and back porches, which was originally supposed to have been started last year, finally began. Strange people hammering, sawing, and making a ruckus all over our house! Then a happy disruption of her routine; her favorite Girl and Girl's Husband came to visit for a few days! But even though that was happy - it was still A LOT! And construction continued! Then, while Girl and Husband were visiting, momma and daddy's dear friend passed away, so they had to go to Florida for several days. Nicki got to visit her Auntie Holly, but it was more disruption! Now, with everyone back home, there's also construction going on at the school right behind us. When they drop the empty dumpsters it sounds like an explosion! Today, besides 80+ degree temps and porch and school construction, people came to replace the power poles right in front of our house!! It's more than a little pup with a funky heart can take! Nicki has been coughing hard and feeling tired. We wanted to pupdate our friends about Miss Nicki's situation - but also take a moment to wish you all a HAPPY RESCUE DOG day! Because Nicki the Rescue Pup, in spite of these ruff days, is still happy! XO

 

Santa Paws!!

Miss Nicki got to meet Santa Paws at PetSaver in Victor! She had a wonderful time. Santa even treated her to some of Bones Dog Bakery's goat milk pup nog!!

That was a lot of excitement, but she wasn't done yet! This year our intrepid girl opened her own Christmas gifts, and she really enjoyed it. She got a bunch of Christmas cookies from Bones Bakery, two boxes of Greenies for her pearly whites, and a Christmas Lamb Chop! Yessiree, Christmas after rescue is pretty sweet for our girl, and she sure deserves it!

Opening the prezzies:

  

Success!

Life is Delicious!

Every now and then I see folks asking for ideas for stuffing Kongs. I first started thinking about this when I noticed that stuffed Kongs offered by a local boarding facility were large Kongs filled completely with peanut butter or spray cheese. Nicki's fairly small - and that's a lot of sugar, salt, & fat! So I started thinking about what else I could use. Frozen Kongs not only provide fun and entertainment for our pups, they can actually be used as meals to slow down pups that wolf their food! Over the years I came up with a number of variations, all of which are much healthier. Admittedly, these require more effort than pumping spray cheese, but Nicki thinks it's worth it!

A few suggestions: a small piece of waxed paper, folded in half to strengthen it, then curled into a funnel can make filling Kongs easier. Consider using 2 small sized Kongs instead of one large one. That way your pup can stretch out the enjoyment. (Of course, that means you don't hand 'em all over at once.) Puppy sized Kongs hold about 1/4 cup of small-sized kibble, plus a few tablespoons of "base". Medium sized Kongs hold more than 1/2 cup of kibble + stuff. Large? Don't know! Never had a large enough dog! Keep those measurements in mind to help you avoid over-feeding.

The Bases (use these to bind other ingredients together for freezing):

Any yogurt that doesn't use artificial sweeteners
pumpkin purée
unsweetened apple sauce
mashed or puréed bananas
wet food (use the amount you'd ordinarily feed) 
Yes, soft cheese and peanut butter work - just don't use them for the entire thing. Maybe a bit at the base of the Kong as a big reward. Like the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie pop! Flavored yogurt, even though it contains sugar, is ok, because you're only using a few tablespoons.

The Mix-Ins (all should be plain, unflavored, no sauces, etc):

peas
diced butternut squash
diced sweet potatoes
diced carrots
chopped green and yellow beans
chopped pineapple (just a bit as an accent)
chopped peaches (just a bit as an accent)
raspberries (less than a cup per day)
strawberries
blueberries
kibble

The basic formula: if you're using actual dog food for a meal, measure out your pup's usual serving, and proceed from there. If you're feeding wet food, add in low-cal but rewarding taste treats like peas, squash, berries, then fill the Kong and freeze. If you're feeding kibble, pick one of the bases to hold it all together. Feel free to add in other goodies from the fruit and veggie list. Just making a treat? Combine a base with a mix-in or two (or three!) and fill 'er up!

I use frozen fruits and veggies for this because they're high-quality, cheaper, and easier to handle and keep on hand. There are other fruits and veggies that are safe for dogs, but they're not listed here simply because they don't freeze as well. According to an online calculator I found (I can't math) there are 8008 possible combinations here to keep your pups happy & fed!

What does happily ever after look like? Well, we know how it SOUNDS!

Has it really been so long since we added a post?? Yes, it has. Because we're now pretty settled into our lives together. We pretty much have our happily ever after. Nicki still growls at her Dad when he tries to kiss her Mom, but they're still working on that, too. 

To show you how at home Nicki has become, let's tell a recent story. Nicki's Dad snores. A lot. LOUDLY. He always has. The other morning, very very early, Dad was snoring away. Full on lumber mill mode. Nicki was laying between Mom & Dad, on her back, doing some snoring of her own. Dad's snoring got louder. Nicki began to groan. It startled Mom, who checked to be sure Nicki was ok. Nicki seemed to be sound asleep. Dad started another snore. Nicki started another groan. Dad's snore ended. Nicki's groan ended. Another snore. Another groan. Another snore, Another groan, the duration of which matched the duration of the snore! 

She's complaining about Dad's snoring.

Yeah, she's Home!

Twilight Promenade

I'm finally feeling physically up to a decent length of dog walk! It's been a physically challenging (and expensive!) year for me. Nicki has not been getting the exercise she deserves or needs. Her Dad isn't one for dog walking. There's nobody else available. I haven't been physically up to it. So Nicki has been a little furry couch potato. The most amazing thing is that this has not resulted in any negative behaviors! What she has wanted more than anything was to simply hang with me in whatever convalescing location the moment presented, and nap. Or cuddle. No cushion chewing, no indoor waste management .... just hangin' with Mom.

While that's a minor miracle, and very helpful from a convalescent standpoint, it's not fair to Nicki. So now that I can walk for longer, we've resumed our neighborhood patrols. The squirrels are no longer safe! Chipmunks doubly so!

It has, however, been beastly hot during the day. Stay-inside-and-in-front-of-the-fan hot. If it's too hot for me to exercise, it's too hot for my girl with the luscious fur coat! If we wait until evening, it's much, MUCH better on all of us. But we have to be careful. The waning sunlight means less visibility on the roads, and we need to be smart about safety. Last year, Nicki won an awesome leash in a contest. It's made by Mountain Dog and we love it!

We got this model in the bright neon yellow!

The thing that I initially loved about this leash was its strength. Although Nicki is small, she is mighty! When she first came to us, she was something of an escape artist. On her freedom ride, she had tried to chew through a leash during a potty stop! When she got here, she would vigorously "buck" on the end of the leash. On two occasions, she was able to slip out of, first, a collar, then a harness! She would also buck on the leash when she saw a squirrel. It was scary! This leash gave me faith that I could protect her until she learned she no longer needed to get away. What I noticed yesterday evening, though, was the colour! It's so bright it almost glowed in the dark! That was exactly why I used it for this twilight walk: visibility in the dusk. You may not have seen me or Nicki, but you'd definitely see that leash!

So we wait for twilight. The world cools down. The light softens. The roar of traffic lulls. Kitchen windows glow. The grass is cool. In that gorgeous, soft evening, we walk. The scents are still there, and some are even fresher as other dogs walk their owners in the dusk. The squirrels have wisely gone to bed, so it's a little more calm, too. Our pace is quick, but not hurried. And by the time we get home, we both have slowed down. We've had our workout, but we're also in no hurry for the evening walk to end. At this time of year, and this time of day, our walks tend to stretch themselves out a little. As the days grow shorter, our walks grow longer. Soon walks will require coats and boots and strategy. But for now - there are fireflies!

Toy Story

 Happy Independence Day!!

We're spending the day distracting ourselves with toys and cuddles. Booms can be so unnerving! "Toys?!" you say? Yup - toys!

By now you've probably seen the video of Nicki finally playing with a toy. If not, here's where you can find it. If you love rescued animals - it'll make your day.

I was initially still hesitant to think that this new joy would carry over to other toys. I had shown Nicki squeaky toys before while shopping at pet supply stores. Her reaction was odd. She seemed almost afraid of the squeakers. She would look at me uncertainly while sort of ducking her head and turning away. Because of that, I figured she didn't care for that type of toy. When my daughter broke down that wall with a squeaky Easter Bunny, I dared to hope that her love of play might just have been temporarily thwarted by the abuse and neglect she had endured. I started buying toys. Lots of toys. I soon learned that her preference is squeaky toys that are furry but don't have tons of robust stuffing. She wants to get that squeaker quickly. This has resulted in the untimely demise of a good number of fuzzy squeaky toys.

Recently, my friend Holly suggested an outing to Runnings with Nicki, me, and her rescued Border Collie, Rue. Rue was one of the Sprakers Border Collies. Google that if you can stand some heartbreak. She was virtually feral when Holly got her. Rue has made so much progress it's just heartwarming! Holly's great with her dogs. All ten of 'em! She's also our groomer and pet sitter! And general guardian angel. She thought (and I agreed) that taking Nicki and Rue into a pet-friendly store during less-busy hours would help both dogs with socialization and being at ease with unfamiliar surroundings. Nicki's mastered this already. Stores mean treats, so she loves everyone in stores! If not treats, stores at least mean lots of people who love dogs. Zero down side here! Hopefully, Nicki's example helped Rue to see that the unfamiliar was no longer something she need fear. It's not a done deal. But Rue was much more comfortable with the idea as the adventure progressed.

At one point, we headed down the pet toy aisle. I saw a likely candidate for Nicki, based on the preferences she had recently shown. I picked out a toy and squeaked it for her, then dandled it above her head. No shirking away! She leapt for the toy! She grabbed it and began playing with it! Right there in the store! I was amazed again! She dropped it and turned away, so I picked it up and put it back on the hook, which was just above floor-level. Nicki saw me take away "her" toy, went over to the hook, grabbed the toy and gently pulled it down from the wall. She didn't disturb anything else, she simply went and got her toy. She then proceeded to carry it around the store!

Of course, I bought the toy and we brought it home. When she stayed with Aunt Holly recently, she came home with the same toy in a different colour scheme!! Aunt Holly loves to spoil this girl! She now has two favourites!! But I'll be ordering bags of replacement squeakers in bulk soon.....and I'll be overjoyed to do it!

The "Pig In A Poke" Factor

It's real. Even I avoided the idea of shelters and rescue when it came time to bring a fur friend into the family, ostensibly for my daughter. I had researched breeds, I knew our family. I believed I had a good fit in mind. I was right. We wanted a Border Collie.

What I didn't know was that there were breed-specific rescues in existence! Knowing what I know now, though, I realize that they would never have allowed me to adopt. Even an animal behaviorist from a local, well-respected and widely known shelter had been refused by Border Collie rescues. Of course they had their reasons, but I have to wonder; when you've rejected more potential adopters than you've accepted, who are you really helping? Especially when a number of those dogs remain unadopted for many months - even years. I know it happens that way. After we adopted Nicki from New Spirit for Aussie Rescue, I checked back at the Border Collie rescues where I had fallen in love with numerous dogs - all of whom were denied to me. I wanted those dogs to go to good homes, even if it couldn't be my home. But there they sat. It broke my heart.

But I digress.

The "pig-in-a-poke" factor kept me from looking at rescues and shelters for our first family dog. I wanted to be "sure" of "what we were getting" - not from a pedigree stance, but from a temperament, intelligence, friendliness, etc. stance. Then one day my young daughter asked me, while lovingly playing with her red BC puppy, "Momma, how do we know she'll be a nice, friendly dog?" And I answered her "Because we'll raise her that way." And I taught both of us a lesson in that moment. Our Daisy had the kindest, sweetest, wouldn't-hurt-a-fly temperament. She was super smart. She was obedient. She was amazingly loving. She was everything we wanted in a dog. Not because we bought her that way, but because we raised her that way. Or perhaps because the way in which we raised her allowed that beautiful, gentle nature to come through in full glory.

Adopting a rescue dog, unless you adopt a puppy - and you can adopt puppies (even pure breds) from rescue - is a different story. You're not raising a dog. One is coming to you with issues from their past. But just the way you overcome the issues of puppyhood, with patience, consistency, and love, you can also overcome a rescue pup's issues. Or at least make them manageable for all of you. Rex might always chew shoes, whether you raise him from a pup or adopt him as an old man. Sometimes Rex is just gonna chew that shoe.

My point being, this blog exists to try to help dispel that "pig-in-a-poke" factor. Dogs are like a box of chocolates .....  You really don't ever know what you're gonna get. It doesn't matter where they begin. What matters is how they end up. A good, loving home makes all the difference.
Don't be afraid to encourage a friend to at least consider rescue and adoption. Point them here if they want to know what they'll get when they take a rescue dog home - but tell them I also said that I realize we got lucky. Nicki clearly hasn't always lived as a refugee. She doesn't have as much damage as some rescue pups do, but hers does still show from time to time. Just the other day she veered wide away from a man out walking, although she'd walked close by his young daughter just one moment before. Nicki has man problems. (Don't we all?) The b@$ta@rd that left her tied to his fence and then moved away was the one she was saved from, but he didn't have her for her entire life. She's too much of a Southern Belle for that. A Southern Belle again, still amidst the magnolias.

An Easter Miracle

If you've been following Nicki's story, you know a sad truth about chained dogs: they often don't play. Nicki had been chained to a fence for who knows how long, and nobody knows what age that began. When she came to live with us, it became apparent very quickly that she didn't know how to play. Even if I made play bows, she didn't seem to have any idea. Toys were a mystery to her. Her rescuers had told me the same thing. She just didn't play. Having loved every Frisbee and ball-throwing minute of my Border Collie's long life, suddenly having a buddy who didn't get it was deeply disappointing. I tried to teach Nicki to catch a soft ball. She didn't see the point. I tossed Frisbees around the house. She sat by and watched. I played "chase" with soft toys, scooting them over her paws with my hand, trying to awaken her prey drive and channel it into some fun. Nope.

Nicki (and I) are blessed to have some really awesome people in our lives. One of them is Nicki's favourite person in the world. No - it's not me. I've learned to accept that. Nicki loves me, but she loves her big sister (my daughter) more. Nicki's big Sis doesn't even live with us, but the bond between them has always been very strong. Big Sis, in turn, loves Nicki, too. So much so that she made an Easter basket for Nicki! There were lots of little treats and goodies - and a toy. Nicki was having so much fun enjoying big Sister's visit that it didn't occur to me to take the toy out of the basket.

Once everyone went home and the house was quiet again, I noticed the "chocolate" bunny and took it out of the wrapper. Nicki paid attention to it immediately! She didn't take her eyes off of it. Then I tossed it to her - and was completely amazed. She grabbed it, chomped onto it a bit, shook it a bit, got it to squeak, dropped it and took a step back in surprise - then pounced on it!! She picked it up and shook it! She tossed it into the air, then pounced on it again! She was playing!!! We had never seen that before! Her Dad was so excited that he ran to grab the camera, and we did what all proud parents do: we took a video. Here it is. This is our Nicki, finally actually playing. Happy Easter!!

There's a really happy update to this story!! You can read it here!!

The Princess Diaries

We've been pretty much house-bound for the past few months. Between deep snows, bitter cold and some health issues for me, a good walk outside has not been an option.

But Nicki is unfazed.

She seems perfectly happy to be a fluffy couch potato, endlessly soaking up petties and affection. A little TOO happy maybe! I can't feel her ribs - so that probably means all these treats and inactivity are taking their toll on her girlish figure! Well, the weather seems to be breaking somewhat, and I've been able to get out for a short walk several times this week. Nicki is so happy!!! OUTSIDE! It's the best!

A friend came to visit last week. She did some reflexology on me to help me heal. It was wonderful! But apparently, it was stressful for Nicki. My friend, who is a lovely human being but not a pet person, was completely taken aback by Nicki's foot-chewing. Like many dogs, Nicki cleans her paws by licking them and nibbling between her pads. Like many herding dogs, she can be a bit over zealous about it. And like many rescued dogs, she can sometimes use this behavior as a stress reducer.

I didn't want to get into a big explanation about it, so I just explained to my friend that it was like people who bite their nails; a nervous habit. Actually, it's exactly like that, and I know first hand. You can usually tell how stressed I've been by the condition of my cuticles. Apparently, my friend's placement on a foot stool before me, my refusal to allow Nicki into my lap during this, and the friend actually touching me for a prolonged time made Nicki very uneasy. She may have felt that her place with me was threatened. She may have simply been confused. After all, people don't drop by to massage my feet very often! For whatever reason, though, this visit and act of kindness were stressful for Nicki.

That's why it's good to be Princess. When you're Princess, nobody just leaves you to your own devices, then yells at you for getting it wrong. When you're the Princess, people react to you in predictable ways. They reassure you and comfort you if something is upsetting. Or they mark the borders of the situation for you so you know what to do. When you're Princess, dinner time is guaranteed and so is that very comfy bed.

Nicki is a Princess. She has to be. I'm pretty sure she's also a large part of the reason for the improvement in my cuticles........

Single Digits ?!?!? Cabin fever!

It's cold. Really, really really cold. So cold that Nicki gets perilously close to getting frostbitten paws when she's out to do her business. I've tried putting her boots on, but she seems to be in rebellion this year. Maybe they're just too stiff in this overwhelming cold. For whatever reason, the poor girl often does what she's gotta do while trying to hold at least one paw up during the process. Quite the achievement, I must say!

We're also bored off our gourds. I haven't been up to snuff lately, and I admit to being a Cold Weather Wuss at any rate. A walk in temps well below freezing is never going to be my idea of fun! Nicki would be willing, but I'd wind up carrying her home after a half block! I know this because we did it last year. It was that experience, repeated a few times, that drove me to try to get boots for her. Since commercially made boots didn't fit, I played around with making a pair. That went pretty well! She liked them enough that they wore out! We need to experiment with other materials this year....

But in the meantime, we have some serious cabin fever and limited outlets for healthy puppy play. Nicki doesn't play with toys, unless they contain food. Obviously I can't give her food toys constantly, so I've been trying to come up with other activities. Some days we drive to Petco or PetSmart just to be able to walk around! I buy something, of course, but I walk Nicki up and around every aisle in the store! She gets to smell different things, get out of the house, and get a little physical exercise.

Just as Nicki never learned to play with toys, she also doesn't really know how to play with people - or other dogs. This poor girl must have had a lonely puppyhood...   I do try to run around the house with her, but she clearly doesn't see the point, and soon loses interest. Imagine; I'm willing to run around longer than my dog is!

So - we're trying a bit more training. Some reinforcement, to be sure, but also maybe a few new tricks. Maybe we'll try to harness that "Aussie crawl" on command!

And in the meantime, the game is afoot! I have taken to making every meal a hunt or a different food toy of some sort. Frozen kongs, a giant wobbly kong, a dispensing ball, a dispensing knobbly ball ... and tonight, a scavenger hunt. I closed Nicki in the kitchen and hid her entire dinner a few bits at a time throughout two main rooms. It kept her busy, gave her nose work to do, and kept her moving! It took her about 15 minutes to find everything. She kept looking for more after she'd found what I'd hidden, so there was even some residual exercise!

It's a challenge to keep a dog with limited responses busy and engaged while cooped up. Nonetheless, we're on it! If any of you have suggestions, we'd love to hear them!

Everyone Should Adopt A Rescue Dog / NOBODY Should Adopt A Rescue Dog

A new situation has shined a new light on our Nicki's inner thoughts. Her Dad was away on a business trip that lasted six days. At first she was totally fine. Dad hunts, so he's been away for a day or two before. This was different, and the certainty of her life became less solid. It showed.

When the Hubby is away, I use extra locks. For instance, I put the chain on the outer rear door. Of course the door can still be pulled open a bit, but it jerks to a stop with a loud noise and can't open any wider. Because I'm not used to using that chain that much, I tend to forget that it's hooked when I stumble to the door first thing in the morning. So, with only one eye open and Nicki clipped to her run lead, I pulled the door open. It abruptly stopped with a loud noise. Rather than scrambling away from the door, Nicki dropped to her belly and Marine-crawled her way through an opening that should have been too small for her! It didn't go smoothly. Nicki seemed desperate. She had to push her way through the barely-open door. I couldn't close the door to open it properly, because Nicki was wedged into the opening between the door and the frame. Eventually she squirmed through and ran off to the yard.

On the way back into the house, though, Nicki shoved herself past me and through a door I had only begun to open. Unlike the first time, this door wasn't stuck - but she pushed through anyway. Hmmm.

I forgot to unhook the chain one more time, and the same thing happened. It frightened me. The opening was so small - it looked like she could be hurting herself. Then I recognized this behavior for what it is: door-darting.

Nicki was a bit of a door-darter when she first came to us. Door darting is when a dog pushes past their humans to squeeze through a door as it's being opened. There are a ton of reasons for the behavior. Some dogs think it's a game. Some are over-excited to be outside. Some are actually trying to escape. I think Nicki's motivation is a combination of wanting to go outside in general and, in this instance, escape. The loud, jarring sound the door makes when yanked to a stop at the end of the door chain can be frightening to a reactive dog. Nicki has clearly been frightened in a number of ways - for a number of reasons. And, like many PTSD survivors, one trigger can send everything into reverse. That loud, jarring noise must have been a trigger for Nicki. She was in the area where the loud noise happened, and the only thought in her mind was to escape. Loud noises must have meant something really bad was about to happen, and she wanted no part of it.

So what do we do now? We start re-training against door darting. Nicki must sit with me between her and the door. Nicki must wait until the door is fully open. At each of those points, she gets a treat. Finally, when I give her the ok, she can go through the door. When she has done so, she gets another treat. While waiting for me to fully open the door, though, she cowers. She's uncertain about what's happening and why. I can't explain it to her. All I can do is patiently insist on the behaviors I need to see, and reward them when she complies.

That's why I say everybody/NOBODY should adopt a rescue dog. Having Nicki in our lives has taught me a huge amount about how dogs think and react, and how I must think and react in response. Raising a dog from puppyhood offers little of this insight. The dog grows up learning your languages; spoken, bodily, and otherwise. Little, if any, translation is needed. Every mindful dog lover would benefit from working with a rescued dog. The dogs have so much to teach us, and in so many ways.

Some dog owners, though, never really try to communicate with their dogs. These are the fools screaming "SHUT UP!" and "SIDDOWN!"at their hapless dogs. They haven't bothered to teach the dog anything, and yet they expect to command a behavior. They shouldn't adopt ANY dog - but they never recognize themselves. Instead they have tons of stories about their "stupid dog".

And finally, NOBODY should be able adopt a rescue dog, because in a perfect world, no dog would need rescue.