Reality Check

 Now begins the actual process of dealing with all this. All the meds, and more importantly - what they do to Nicki. She's on 2 heart meds, plus a diuretic for blood pressure. That apparently tipped her body into incontinence. She became completely unaware of leaking urine - and it was not good.

So back to the vet we went, to get meds to fight the incontinence. Within hours after giving her second dose, she began to vomit repeatedly. Then she developed diarrhea. I looked up the side effects of the medication, which were not good. The dosing also seemed too strong for her little body. We stopped that medication immediately. Now I'm fasting her to give her body a chance to purge the medication that caused the reaction. In the meantime, I'm washing a lot of towels, rugs, and dog butt. It's been pretty hectic.

So hectic that it took a while to register: this is not a passing illness. I'm not nursing her back to health. That cannot happen. At best, this could be called palliative care. I'm trying to manage her symptoms to preserve some quality of life for her. I want her to be comfortable and happy.

And that's an end game.

I've been through this. It's hard to stop yourself from becoming hopeful when they perk up and seem to feel better. It's hard to accept that they won't continue to improve. It's hard to be so powerless for someone you love so much.

Ordinary tasks become fraught. The size of the bag of kibble becomes a question mark. How much longer? How long?

For now, I have boiled chicken and rice ready for when her system quiets down, The main priority is to get her heart meds into her. Since she's not getting incontinence meds now, we'll have to go back to taking up her water in the evening, extra walks and trips outside, and fingers crossed for a dry morning. Again. 

The worst of it is that she's such a lady, and all this upsets her. She seems downright insulted to be asked to go out every 1 1/2 - 2 hours. No Lasix for now - not till we speak to the vet again tomorrow to try to get a different incontinence medication.

We're just juggling symptoms, and trying to push against the door to keep the monster from breaking in and stealing her.

Update (following day): I suggested that we try halving the dosage of the incontinence meds (Prion). The vet agrees. So last night, when we were awakened at 3:00 am by a slightly damp pupper jumping up onto the bed, after letting her out and cleaning her up, I gave that 1/4 pill. She was dry this morning, but spent the day just not herself. So far no vomiting or diarrhea (fingers crossed, but that didn't start until the 2nd dose last time), but my girl just ain't right. At one point I saw her sitting and staring at a blank wall. When let out, she circles and paces, comes back, goes back out, lather rinse repeat. It's as though she can't quite figure out how to do her business. I did call the vet again to tell her the final verdict on Prion is that it does help Miss Nicki, but the cost to her is too high. Spent the day waiting for a call back. Maybe tomorrow. 2nd dose of the day at 7:00 pm. Keep us in your thoughts.

Change is Hard

So sleepy. So, so sleepy.

 If you plan to follow this blog (and thank you, if you do), you should be prepared for something; it won't have a happy ending, but it will have an ending. Nicki has a progressive, terminal disease (congestive heart failure). That doesn't magically go away. A lot of what will appear here now will be how we got to this point, and how we're dealing with it now. Hopefully there will be more happy Nicki stories, too. For that to happen, we have to help her manage life with this disease. If we share that process with you, you may have information that you find helpful at some point. That's what this whole blog was started for; to share the journey of a rescued and adopted dog in order to help others.

Nicki has been placed on 3 medications; Enalapril, Vetmedin, and Furosemide. During the first week, they seemed to be helping her, but she was almost always sound asleep. I did some research on side effects, and noticed that two of the meds induce tiredness and/or lethargy. That corresponds to what I've been seeing. I'd been giving her all 3 medications in the morning, then Vetmedin and Furosemide again in the evening. Since Enalapril is one of the meds with tiredness/lethargy as a side effect (Vetmedin is the other), and she only has to get it once daily, I'm shifting that to evening dosing. Hopefully that will allow her to be more present during the daytime. Update: I did do so, but now we have a big problem with incontinence. Nicki had always been a VERY light sleeper. The slightest thing disturbed her. No longer. Now she sleeps VERY soundly through the night, unaware of a need to urinate, and wakes up not knowing that she's soaked. The vet cut her dose of Furosemide by 75%, and I shifted the timing to 2x during the day, but none near night time. Even so, we have accidents. She doesn't go off to pee in the house; she just doesn't realize that urine is coming out. This began *before* I shifted her Enalapril to evening dosing, so I don't think that's the problem. We have a follow up appointment tomorrow. I expect the vet will want to start her on meds for the incontinence. We went through this with our border collie, Daisy, near the end of her life, and the meds helped tremendously.

Since she has heart disease, some of you may be wondering about her diet. Having come to upstate New York from Kentucky, her first 3 years here produced allergies that worsened with each spring. Eventually we switched her kibble to grain free, and supplemented with unflavored, non-chewable biotin caplets coated in peanut butter, a dollop of coconut oil, 500 mg of fish oil (those 3 daily) and - during allergy season - 25 mg of dipehnhydramine, twice daily. For those saying "AHA! Grain free! That causes heart disease!" you need more information. Nicki also gets raw venison, raw fish, raw, frozen chicken wings, vegetables, yogurts, and other variety, including Dinovite powder, at my husband's suggestion. Honestly, I've stopped giving her diphenhydramine since the addition of Dinovite, and her allergies are not bothering her this year. So yes, she gets grain-free kibble, but she doesn't just get kibble. As a matter of fact, we did a post about her food variety here .

So - everything we knew has changed. Nicki is tremendously annoyed by my constant urging to go out to potty (about every 2 - 3 hours). She doesn't get morning cuddles on the bed with me unless I check her first and find dry fur down there. She gets plopped into the bathtub and rinsed off every other day, it seems. She gets more treats - but they all kinda taste funny (because I hide the meds inside them). She can't drink water after 8:00 when Momma and Daddy take the bowls away. And Momma has become paranoid - thinking everything smells like pee.

Mostly I miss the cuddles.

I'm A Unicorn!

 Well! It has been quite a week.

For quite a while now, Momma hasn't been keeping up with my blog - and that's actually wonderful. My life has been filled with trips to Bones Dog Bakery (where Momma can get a people version of a puppacino), shopping trips, walks, playing, baths (YUCK!), sometimes visits with friends (people friends, not other dogs), more walks, naps, treats, frozen Kongs, yummy dinners - life! Things have been pretty ordinary. After the way the first few years of my life went, ordinary was just perfect for me. I like my routine. I like the predictability. I like the safety and comfort. I love feeling loved.

But most of that isn't really fun to talk about or read about. It's like trying to write a Christmas letter (don't ever do that!) when you've had a really ordinary year. "Waited at the top of the basement stairs to be sure Momma was still alive after doing laundry. A dangerous job! Basements are evil! Why does she go down there willingly??" We could have written that every week. 

This week was different. I've been to the vet twice within a week, and the first time the vet tech brought me back out to Momma and said the doctor called me a Unicorn!! She said I was a unicorn because for my size, age and breed, I was the perfect weight, had a nice pink tongue and gums, bright eyes, a shiny coat and a sweet temperament!  (Good thing I'm modest!)  That happened after getting back from boarding with my Aunt Holly and Uncle Craig. I started coughing really hard. The vet thought it was a bacterial or viral thing that I caught at boarding. They gave me medicine that included a steroid to reduce inflammation and a cough suppressant. It made the cough go away instantly, and I felt a lot better. I finished the cough suppressant but still had more antibiotics to go through. The next morning I suddenly woke up coughing harder than ever! I couldn't stop. I couldn't catch my breath. It looked like I was panting - but that was my breathing. Momma got really worried and took me right back to the vet. This time they took an X-ray and figured out that my heart murmur wasn't just a murmur. I have an enlarged heart, and congestive heart failure. 

Momma's been crying a lot.

I have a lot of new medicine, Momma says, but the only thing I've been getting is yummy sardine balls and little peanut butter knots. This is pretty cool!

Momma says I'm not supposed to go up and down stairs or play much. Today I just felt like sleeping all day. After all that napping, I guess the sardines and peanut butter worked their magic and I started to feel better! Momma says she's going to carry me up and down the stairs when she can, but lots of times I beat her to it! She says she'd rather have a happy dog for a shorter time than a sad dog just waiting to die. Geez! She sure gets morbid!

So we finally had something to write about. We're writing about a big change in our lives. A new phase. Maybe I'll get to go on a new adventure someday. I wonder what kind of adventures Unicorns have?