Nicki
and I have cabin fever. It got into the 40's today, so we went for an
hour+ long walk. Nicki has short legs and long fur. Such wet, muddy
fur..... — feeling great.
Wednesday, February 26, 2014
Original post : February 21, 2014 Under the greyest of skies, brilliant light breaks through
Original post : February 21, 2014
Under the greyest of skies, brilliant light breaks through
One of the saddest things about adopting Nicki was the realization that, like many chained dogs, she didn't know how to play. I didn't know that was a common result of chaining dogs until I saw a post by Gordy and Friends about this phenomenon. I had noticed that Nicki didn't seem to know how to play and didn't know what to do with toys, but had no idea that this is one result of prolonged and persistent neglect and abuse.
Nonetheless, I got toys. I had food toys that required interaction, and of course there's always the frozen stuffed Kong! But Nicki's interest in those toys ended with the last bite of food. I tried a "stuffed" toy that used crunchy water bottles to provide chewing satisfaction. After I added training treats to the uncapped bottle inside, it became something of a success. Eventually, Nicki chewed through the toy three times (and the bottles twice), after which the toy was D.O.A.
I tried a Martha Stewart toy that I found on sale. A little plush trash can with crunchy hidden lining, and two stuffed raccoon faces that could be pushed into the trash can through an opening. The idea was for the dog to become curious about the toy and pull the raccoons out of the trash can. Then you shove them back in and the dog pulls them out again. I'd read that a Border Collie has even begun stuffing them back in by herself!
None of that went anywhere with Nicki. She would mouth the trash can a bit, but not for long. Once again I tried putting treats inside the toy to pique her interest. As it turns out, Nicki is small enough to just nuzzle her way past the obstacles of the MS toy and pull out the goodies without molesting any raccoons. Hmmm. So I jammed other toys in with the raccoons! Another soft, fabric covered ball. Still not enough. Added a small rubber squeaky bone. Ah - now we were getting somewhere. I finally jammed a pig's ear into the trash can toy and piled all the other toys in on top of that. She became VERY interested in getting that pig's ear! But rather than pulling out the toys, she started to tear the trash can apart. Luckily, MS uses some quality workmanship. The multiple layers of stitching slowed the toy's demise. It's not dead yet - and that's why I can write this.
I never leave Nicki alone with these types of toys. She can be fairly aggressive in chewing. It wouldn't be safe to let her just have these. But she still showed sporadic interest in the toy, so I kept it around. This morning, I heard a bark from downstairs. Nicki's pretty quiet, so her bark always gets my attention. I went to the top of the stairs - to see her barking at the trash can! She pounced on it! She flung it up in the air, then pounced again! I praised her - but stayed on the stair. I've learned quickly that inserting myself into toy play either ends it immediately or ends it soon after. My involvement sends signals that Nicki can't interpret. "Is Mom happy about this? Does Mom want the toy? Did I make a mistake?" When nobody plays with you, you have no idea how to react. So I stood on the landing, smiling like an idiot, cheering for my kid from the sidelines again. And Nicki continued to play.
There's always hope, isn't there?
Under the greyest of skies, brilliant light breaks through
One of the saddest things about adopting Nicki was the realization that, like many chained dogs, she didn't know how to play. I didn't know that was a common result of chaining dogs until I saw a post by Gordy and Friends about this phenomenon. I had noticed that Nicki didn't seem to know how to play and didn't know what to do with toys, but had no idea that this is one result of prolonged and persistent neglect and abuse.
Nonetheless, I got toys. I had food toys that required interaction, and of course there's always the frozen stuffed Kong! But Nicki's interest in those toys ended with the last bite of food. I tried a "stuffed" toy that used crunchy water bottles to provide chewing satisfaction. After I added training treats to the uncapped bottle inside, it became something of a success. Eventually, Nicki chewed through the toy three times (and the bottles twice), after which the toy was D.O.A.
I tried a Martha Stewart toy that I found on sale. A little plush trash can with crunchy hidden lining, and two stuffed raccoon faces that could be pushed into the trash can through an opening. The idea was for the dog to become curious about the toy and pull the raccoons out of the trash can. Then you shove them back in and the dog pulls them out again. I'd read that a Border Collie has even begun stuffing them back in by herself!
None of that went anywhere with Nicki. She would mouth the trash can a bit, but not for long. Once again I tried putting treats inside the toy to pique her interest. As it turns out, Nicki is small enough to just nuzzle her way past the obstacles of the MS toy and pull out the goodies without molesting any raccoons. Hmmm. So I jammed other toys in with the raccoons! Another soft, fabric covered ball. Still not enough. Added a small rubber squeaky bone. Ah - now we were getting somewhere. I finally jammed a pig's ear into the trash can toy and piled all the other toys in on top of that. She became VERY interested in getting that pig's ear! But rather than pulling out the toys, she started to tear the trash can apart. Luckily, MS uses some quality workmanship. The multiple layers of stitching slowed the toy's demise. It's not dead yet - and that's why I can write this.
I never leave Nicki alone with these types of toys. She can be fairly aggressive in chewing. It wouldn't be safe to let her just have these. But she still showed sporadic interest in the toy, so I kept it around. This morning, I heard a bark from downstairs. Nicki's pretty quiet, so her bark always gets my attention. I went to the top of the stairs - to see her barking at the trash can! She pounced on it! She flung it up in the air, then pounced again! I praised her - but stayed on the stair. I've learned quickly that inserting myself into toy play either ends it immediately or ends it soon after. My involvement sends signals that Nicki can't interpret. "Is Mom happy about this? Does Mom want the toy? Did I make a mistake?" When nobody plays with you, you have no idea how to react. So I stood on the landing, smiling like an idiot, cheering for my kid from the sidelines again. And Nicki continued to play.
There's always hope, isn't there?
Original post : February 14, 2014 Like peeling an onion
Original post : February 14, 2014
Like peeling an onion
Peeling an onion takes time. It's a bit tricky. It can be delicate. What's underneath is much softer. And sometimes, it makes you cry.
Today Nicki went to sniff at the recycling bin, as she does. She tries to get at the yogurt containers, etc. I moved my foot between her and the bin. Not at her in the least bit, but just to block her from getting closer. She immediately dropped to the floor and turned her belly up in extreme submission.
So, I guess, he kicked her, too.
My heart broke again. She's so small. She's so overwhelmingly sweet and cute that kids yelled to us from a car window in the parking lot at Petco. "I like your dog!!" And some jackhole kicked her. Kicked her enough that she was immediately frightened again.
But then, she did that wonderful thing that she does for me: she made it all better. After I'd loved her and reassured her, I let her out on her lead to go into the yard. She stood there just gorgeous in the blinding sun against the fresh snow. And then .....
She dove into the snow and began some very enthusiastic rolling. And I laughed. This Southern Belle adores rolling in the snow. And eating the snow. And bounding through it, chest high no matter. She'd walk for hours, if her paws didn't freeze. And now that I made those boots for her, I give in to the cold before she does!
I can see deeper and deeper into the heart of this gorgeous creature. The mean man lost another round.
Like peeling an onion
Peeling an onion takes time. It's a bit tricky. It can be delicate. What's underneath is much softer. And sometimes, it makes you cry.
Today Nicki went to sniff at the recycling bin, as she does. She tries to get at the yogurt containers, etc. I moved my foot between her and the bin. Not at her in the least bit, but just to block her from getting closer. She immediately dropped to the floor and turned her belly up in extreme submission.
So, I guess, he kicked her, too.
My heart broke again. She's so small. She's so overwhelmingly sweet and cute that kids yelled to us from a car window in the parking lot at Petco. "I like your dog!!" And some jackhole kicked her. Kicked her enough that she was immediately frightened again.
But then, she did that wonderful thing that she does for me: she made it all better. After I'd loved her and reassured her, I let her out on her lead to go into the yard. She stood there just gorgeous in the blinding sun against the fresh snow. And then .....
She dove into the snow and began some very enthusiastic rolling. And I laughed. This Southern Belle adores rolling in the snow. And eating the snow. And bounding through it, chest high no matter. She'd walk for hours, if her paws didn't freeze. And now that I made those boots for her, I give in to the cold before she does!
I can see deeper and deeper into the heart of this gorgeous creature. The mean man lost another round.
Original post : February 6, 2014 One just to be silly
Original post : February 6, 2014
One just to be silly
Nicki is always on top of current trends, both in fashion and culture! ;-P Seriously, though, these are the boots I made to protect those little paws from ice, impacted snow & salt, and this is the vest she got from the extra material. So fashen!
One just to be silly
Nicki is always on top of current trends, both in fashion and culture! ;-P Seriously, though, these are the boots I made to protect those little paws from ice, impacted snow & salt, and this is the vest she got from the extra material. So fashen!
Original post : February 5, 2014 It's a process.
Original post : February 5, 2014
It's a process.
Nicki has made huge strides since she came to live with us. There are still monsters in her closet, though, and every now and then, they reach out to try to grab her. I call her my PTSD dog, and that's not an exaggeration.
The other day, Nicki was sitting at the top of the stairs. My hubby came up the stairs part way, lowered himself to lay on the stairs so his head would be at Nicki's level, and attempted to give her a gentle greeting. Then the bogeyman bit her. We have no idea why, but she suddenly leaped up, spun around, lay back down, cowered, and cried the entire time. In the process, she banged my hubby's forehead with her teeth, leaving a little mark that bled slightly. It absolutely was not a bite.
So what was all that? What set her off? What frightened her so? She saw her Dad coming up the stairs, laying near her, reaching out. None of it was a surprise. And yet, she was clearly terrified of something. The crying and whining were proof of that. What past shadow so overtook a moment of affection?
So we keep trying to reassure her. The shadows will stay in the past. There's nothing here but love and tenderness. It's ok to stop being afraid.
It's only been 5 months. After who knows how long she endured rejection, neglect, and apparently outright abuse - 5 months is the wink of an eye.
It's a process.
Nicki has made huge strides since she came to live with us. There are still monsters in her closet, though, and every now and then, they reach out to try to grab her. I call her my PTSD dog, and that's not an exaggeration.
The other day, Nicki was sitting at the top of the stairs. My hubby came up the stairs part way, lowered himself to lay on the stairs so his head would be at Nicki's level, and attempted to give her a gentle greeting. Then the bogeyman bit her. We have no idea why, but she suddenly leaped up, spun around, lay back down, cowered, and cried the entire time. In the process, she banged my hubby's forehead with her teeth, leaving a little mark that bled slightly. It absolutely was not a bite.
So what was all that? What set her off? What frightened her so? She saw her Dad coming up the stairs, laying near her, reaching out. None of it was a surprise. And yet, she was clearly terrified of something. The crying and whining were proof of that. What past shadow so overtook a moment of affection?
So we keep trying to reassure her. The shadows will stay in the past. There's nothing here but love and tenderness. It's ok to stop being afraid.
It's only been 5 months. After who knows how long she endured rejection, neglect, and apparently outright abuse - 5 months is the wink of an eye.
Original post : January 15, 2014 An old friend
Original post : January 15, 2014
An old friend of ours is facing that terrible decision - when to say goodbye. Her aged little pup has been fighting to hang on for several months now, but she has again stopped eating and drinking. She is weak, and agitated. Although my friend doesn't believe the pup is in pain, she's clearly not a happy pooch.
Nor will she be again.
My friend is on that dreadful roller coaster that I rode almost a year ago with Daisy, our almost-15-year-old Border Collie. She, too, stopped eating and drinking. After three days of attempting to hand-feed, begging her to eat or drink, and driving myself to despair, we went to the vet. A mass on the spleen, and only a 33% chance of a truly good outcome. So we opted for pain relief and days at home, together. At first, the pain meds renewed her energy and appetite. We had our girl back! I convinced myself that if I could just help her get stronger, she could recover. Then she would collapse, or vomit, or stagger, or all three and more. She would be down for days as I worried and fussed. She could undoubtedly sense my desperation. Did any of my ministrations make her feel better? I doubt it. She was too worried about me to care.
I was clearly upset by what was happening to her, so she did everything I wanted of her. She took her meds, ate a bit, drank a bit, cuddled.... and all, I'm sure, to try to make *me* feel better. Of course, she couldn't possibly make me feel better, because I eventually had to admit that I saw her trajectory clearly.
Dogs clearly recognize death. We've seen the heart wrenching photos and videos of dogs mourning their friends, both animal and human. Dogs may even recognize when they, themselves are dying. But it would take a tremendous leap of intellect to know that their own death means that there will not be kibble for them tomorrow morning. Or snuggles. Or walks. *We* know that, so we hang on. I don't think dogs extrapolate that far, and so - they hang on for us rather than for one more walk. They don't anticipate the end of their happy lives, and so they hang on for us - when in truth, they have no fear of letting go. They hang on because of *our* fear - not their own.
I wish my friend and her dog an easy passing and peace in the aftermath. Maybe it might help her to think that Nutmeg fully expects to wake beside her again, just like always.
An old friend of ours is facing that terrible decision - when to say goodbye. Her aged little pup has been fighting to hang on for several months now, but she has again stopped eating and drinking. She is weak, and agitated. Although my friend doesn't believe the pup is in pain, she's clearly not a happy pooch.
Nor will she be again.
My friend is on that dreadful roller coaster that I rode almost a year ago with Daisy, our almost-15-year-old Border Collie. She, too, stopped eating and drinking. After three days of attempting to hand-feed, begging her to eat or drink, and driving myself to despair, we went to the vet. A mass on the spleen, and only a 33% chance of a truly good outcome. So we opted for pain relief and days at home, together. At first, the pain meds renewed her energy and appetite. We had our girl back! I convinced myself that if I could just help her get stronger, she could recover. Then she would collapse, or vomit, or stagger, or all three and more. She would be down for days as I worried and fussed. She could undoubtedly sense my desperation. Did any of my ministrations make her feel better? I doubt it. She was too worried about me to care.
I was clearly upset by what was happening to her, so she did everything I wanted of her. She took her meds, ate a bit, drank a bit, cuddled.... and all, I'm sure, to try to make *me* feel better. Of course, she couldn't possibly make me feel better, because I eventually had to admit that I saw her trajectory clearly.
Dogs clearly recognize death. We've seen the heart wrenching photos and videos of dogs mourning their friends, both animal and human. Dogs may even recognize when they, themselves are dying. But it would take a tremendous leap of intellect to know that their own death means that there will not be kibble for them tomorrow morning. Or snuggles. Or walks. *We* know that, so we hang on. I don't think dogs extrapolate that far, and so - they hang on for us rather than for one more walk. They don't anticipate the end of their happy lives, and so they hang on for us - when in truth, they have no fear of letting go. They hang on because of *our* fear - not their own.
I wish my friend and her dog an easy passing and peace in the aftermath. Maybe it might help her to think that Nutmeg fully expects to wake beside her again, just like always.
Original post : January 2, 2014 Still things to learn
Original post : January 2, 2014
Still things to learn
Once again, we were at PetSmart last night. Once again, we met another pup with his person, both friendly. Once again, Nicki wanted to go over and initiate the ID sniffing party that is a dog's greeting. It always seems to go so well. Then, subtly, things change. I'm getting better at sensing Nicki's tension. I wish I knew what it is. Maybe the other dog's friendliness becomes a bit too assertive? Maybe it goes on a bit too long? In the wink of an eye, we go from tail sniffing to a bark and a jump back away from the other dog. It's never aggressive; Nicki is always in retreat. I'm sure the bark is meant to warn the other dog off. But why?
I've seen the yellow ribbon idea; attach a yellow ribbon to the dog's leash to warn other dogs that your dog is not friendly. But Nicki IS friendly - mostly to other humans. She starts out friendly with other dogs, too. Until that moment. It's clear that nobody bothered to socialize her. That, her adorable appearance, and the fact that she had obviously had at least one litter makes me very uncomfortable. She was abandoned in some guy's yard - but had she been meant to be a breeder for a backyard mill? I hate to think it...
So for now, no yellow ribbon. I don't want to "warn away" people and children, because she loves them completely. She's still fearful of some men, but that takes the form of avoidance - never aggression. She loves women, and REALLY loves kids! No yellow ribbon. I have to learn to trust it when I read her body language, and shorten the encounter before it can become unpleasant. Can I do it? Just before the bark last night, I had said "Nicki - be nice!" which of course means nothing to her. What it really means is that I'm learning my dog - and learning how to help her navigate this new world.
Still things to learn
Once again, we were at PetSmart last night. Once again, we met another pup with his person, both friendly. Once again, Nicki wanted to go over and initiate the ID sniffing party that is a dog's greeting. It always seems to go so well. Then, subtly, things change. I'm getting better at sensing Nicki's tension. I wish I knew what it is. Maybe the other dog's friendliness becomes a bit too assertive? Maybe it goes on a bit too long? In the wink of an eye, we go from tail sniffing to a bark and a jump back away from the other dog. It's never aggressive; Nicki is always in retreat. I'm sure the bark is meant to warn the other dog off. But why?
I've seen the yellow ribbon idea; attach a yellow ribbon to the dog's leash to warn other dogs that your dog is not friendly. But Nicki IS friendly - mostly to other humans. She starts out friendly with other dogs, too. Until that moment. It's clear that nobody bothered to socialize her. That, her adorable appearance, and the fact that she had obviously had at least one litter makes me very uncomfortable. She was abandoned in some guy's yard - but had she been meant to be a breeder for a backyard mill? I hate to think it...
So for now, no yellow ribbon. I don't want to "warn away" people and children, because she loves them completely. She's still fearful of some men, but that takes the form of avoidance - never aggression. She loves women, and REALLY loves kids! No yellow ribbon. I have to learn to trust it when I read her body language, and shorten the encounter before it can become unpleasant. Can I do it? Just before the bark last night, I had said "Nicki - be nice!" which of course means nothing to her. What it really means is that I'm learning my dog - and learning how to help her navigate this new world.
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